Bittersweet Day (Another long post, but I have a lot to say!)

Today was filled with some mixed emotions. Once I was awake enough to comprehend anything (which for my future WC teammates, it is either after one cup of coffee or after ten minutes of being out of bed...just fair warning!) I realized that I leave for WC in 1 week! Yes, one week.....7 days!!! Ahhhh! This is cray cray (another word for crazy for my older audience.) As I was getting ready for church, I had my iTunes on and I was listening to Sojourn. I simply love them, yet I don't listen to them as often as I should. But Anywhoo, back to my point, I was getting ready and then it also hit me like a ton of bricks that my dear little 8 year old TBCH (Tennessee Baptist Children's Home) friend is leaving Thursday. I was well aware of this fact, I have known it for quite a while. Heck, we even had a party for him Friday night since it was his last weekend with us. But then the emotional reality of today being Sunday hit me. Today would be my last Sunday with him, and possibly the last time I see him. For safety reasons we shall call him Sweaty Boy in this blog. Homeboy breaks out to a sweat sooo easily. It is really comical! Chances are, if you know my  family, you know Sweaty Boy or at least have heard funny stories about Sweaty Boy....there are a lot of those :). He has been apart of our family for almost a year now. I have had the privilege of spending countless weekends and some holidays with this insanely funny, witty, little 8 year old boy who has stolen not only my heart, but my parent's hearts as well as Patrick and Ashley's hearts. He has seriously become a part of our family over the past year. Thus, beginning my day of fighting back tears. So naturally, in the spirit of fighting tears while applying makeup and straightening my hair, I turned up Lecrae and started rapping. Yes, rapping is my coping mechanism for pretty much anything. Happy or sad....Lecrae!

Well, I pushed it to the back of my mind, even though it lingered there all day. I went to Sunday school and then Worship. Let me just say here, I love my home church and am so thankful for Ellendale Baptist! I then went to see the new Pirates movie, went to Kim's going away party (she is working for CentriKid this summer...whoop whoop for students serving over the summer!), and then rushed back to church for evening worship. Now I normally don't see Sweaty Boy on Sunday mornings if he is not coming home with us for lunch (which today was one of those days), so I walked in and immediately saw him sitting where he always sits on Sunday nights....next to my Mom. Insert lump in my throat. I walked up to him and gave him a hug (he gives great hugs) and then started off to where I normally sit. Well, my mother being great at guilt-tripping me, told Sweaty Boy to ask me to sit with them tonight...how could I say no?!?! I couldn't and she knew that....such a smart woman! (My dad is out of town, and A and P stayed home with Kate, so it was just the two of them.) We sat with Sweaty Boy in between us, and then Adam got up to start leading worship. Ok, Sweaty Boy is totally TONE DEAF, and belts out the lyrics loud and proud none the less. Needless to say, I was fighting back the urge to laugh hysterically. I couldn't make eye contact with my Mom because she was trying not to laugh too! You think after a year, we would be used to this...but it is so funny! Adam, if you read this....that is why I was laughing! I was not laughing at you, yall did great!

Well, throughout service, Sweaty Boy was great as usual. And then here comes the "sweetness" of the day. My youth minister got up to make an announcement, and called up the student summer missionaries to be prayed over and "commissioned". Well, I was the only one there tonight, but it was still great none the less. People who I greatly love and cherish came and laid hands on me to pray over me. Sweaty Boy came up too....so sweet. Ok, let me say this again....I love Ellendale Baptist and the amazing people who make up this congregation as well as our amazing staff! and I am sooooo blessed to have grown up there and to have people who know me and love me come and lay their hands on me and commit to pray for me this summer. I also am so blessed to be under the teaching of Dr. Jerry Harmon, who preaches truth boldly! Well, while people were asking me questions about this summer, Sweaty Boy came up to tell me bye...as in bye for good! I didn't cry in front of him, but soon after he gave me a tight squeeze and left I did. I think some people were under the impression that I was teary eyed because of the sweet commissioning that had just happened. And while that was super sweet and made me feel incredibly blessed to have my church supporting me, I was tearing up out of selfishness. For  the past little while, I have been evaluating my reasons for being sad. And sadly, most of them are selfish reasons. I want Sweaty Boy to stay at the TBCH because I love having him in MY life. Or I want Sweaty Boy to stay because there is not another kid on the planet that is nearly as funny or sweet as him, or I want Sweaty Boy in my life because I am always laughing hysterically whenever he is around, or I want Sweaty Boy around to see Kate grow up because I already see how much he loves my niece.....etc. But then I have to remember he is not mine. I knew from day one that he would not be at TBCH forever, or that our family would not be his "friend's family" forever. I knew that. Our other friend's family kid left a few months ago, and while I was sad....I wasn't this sad. I know, I know...I shouldn't have favorites! But here I am, being transparent with you guys (because I told you guys I would be, and because that is a character quality I love in believers....seeing that everything is not "peachy-keen" all the time. I love when believers are honest about the hardships that come with walking with Christ.) So as I sit here and wallow in self pity (which is what I am doing right now), and I ask you to pray for Sweaty Boy as he goes back home. I ask you to pray for his safety and that his mom would do what is best for her son. I also pray that Sweaty Boy would walk with Christ. I also am going to ask you to pray for me and my family, as well as his cottage parents at the TBCH, I know that him going back home will be a tough adjustment on everybody.

As I write, I keep thinking about the bitter-sweetness of today. The sweetness of having a church that loves me that prays over me, as well as the bitterness of having Sweaty Boy go back home and leave the Children's Home. Man, how do I vocalize this on a blog...it is amazing to see the church at work. Both in taking care of its members, as well as serving the world (such as loving and ministering to Sweaty Boy.) There truly is beauty in seeing the church show the love of Christ. Ok, that is all I am going to write. I could go on....but for your sake I won't. I will attach some pics of me and Sweaty Boy. They aren't the greatest of him...and that is on purpose, for safety reasons. But know that for each picture I post, there are hundreds of great pictures that have been taken to document our sweet time with the sweatiest, sweetest, eight year old boy in the whole world.

Sweaty Boy opening his presents at his Surprise 8th Birthday Party we threw!

Ok, I know you probably don't appreciate the funniness of this pic. This pic is one of the worst of him dancing (obviously, his head is cut off). But we were at a Lecrae concert, and Sweaty Boy was doing his "Irish-Jig" dance....which has become a family favorite. It was HYSTERICAL that he was doing it in the middle of a rap concert. I was crying from laughing so hard! He was using the rail for support. Homeboy was moving his feet soooo fast. He was exhausted by the end of the concert!

Me and Sweaty Boy at the Science Museum in Nashville. He is a real man...he wore my heavy Vera Bradley backpack for me! So sweet!

Another cool pic from the Science Museum!